September 1, 2011 Meeting with Oncology

Today I met with Dr. Kent.  She is in oncology.
The facts:
She confirmed that the size is about 1.9cm. It could be bigger, but they are pretty certain of the size. It is hard to tell for sure.
I am Estrogen and Progesterone positive so I will need to have hormonal therapy at the end of everything. She said being positive for these 2 is a good thing.
I will need chemotherapy after surgery.  The specifics on that will be determined after surgery.
She was AMAZING.  She was very thorough and patient.  She spent a lot of time with me explaining everything and answering questions.
I am a candidate for a lumpectomy or mastectomy.  She said both procedures are just effective as the other.
Basically it is totally up to me as to what to have done.
Now I have an appointment to have a PET scan Wednesday the 7th at 11:45. This will help see if I have cancer anywhere else in my body.  The results are usually in the next day or so.  That is awesome.
How I feel after the appointment:
First of all, I am VERY THANKFUL that things are going so well.  I appreciate all my friends and family and the support group that surrounds me. God has blessed me with the love and support. It is so comforting.
The appointment today solidified the fact in my head that I have cancer.  I am still processing it.  I have been on such a "happy high" since I found out that I have such a good chance to beat this that I think I forgot about what I have.  I am not dwelling on it, but it is sinking in more.  It is now the evening time and I already feel better, but I was pretty cranky after the appointment.  I am scared of the chemo.  I am scared to lose my hair. Yes, I am afraid of what I will look like, but even more, losing my hair is the one thing that solidifies what I have.
I guess before thinking about the situation-having surgery was just that: having surgery. But surgery and chemo means it is more than just a surgery.
BUT, I am okay now.  I do feel better. I think I just needed to process it.  There is so much to learn about this. There are decisions to be made and research to be done.